I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
