Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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