so let's talk penis.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
