she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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