i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
