how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
only if we run a train.
done.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
