my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
God, I missed his penis.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
