I think im going to throw up on grandma
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i dont even know how to be here
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
