We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
