now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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