So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
