i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
