This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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