that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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