I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
