You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
