there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
