He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
