if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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