that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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