Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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