I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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