i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
