epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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