Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
