Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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