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dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
