8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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