Just fell off a train. Bad.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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