2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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