We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
