just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
