Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
