I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
