But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
