You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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