the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
