my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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