Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
