I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
