He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
