We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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