What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize