So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
