It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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