I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
