Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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