He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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