Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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