maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
