Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
